"Anxiety

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We live in a world where most businesses are run on "fear", we feel that if we are not safe, stricter rules apply, we are told that if we are not beautiful, surgery, expensive Make up clothes and buy jewelry, we are made to feel as if we are just as richWe work day and night to maintain a certain lifestyle, neglecting our mental and physical health. There is also a new anxiety in the modern world, which the philosopher Alain-de-Bouton calls "status anxiety", which affects middle and upper-middle class people more. All these fears give rise to "anxiety" in us, in the modern world there is an epidemic of this problem called anxiety. Once upon a time we used to compete with family and neighborhood, now in the age of technology we compete with the whole world, this unrealistic competition is also responsible for our restlessness and anxiety. 

I get a lot of people in my inbox telling me that they have "social anxiety" and how to solve it. Incidentally, I myself have been facing this social anxiety and when I lost many great opportunities in my life due to this anxiety, I realized that it was time to take action. Yes, and I took appropriate action plans, and over time I normalized my anxietySince it is the nature of human beings to share their experiences with others, I would like to share my experience in the light of 'psychology' and 'philosophy', keeping this tradition of mankind alive. Can anyone use it! 

People who have anxiety often call themselves "introverts", (introverts are people who don't like to socialize much, who prefer to spend some time alone). But introverts don't have anxiety, they have good careers and they have the company of some great people, they just don't like crowds. I also used to call myself an introvert, keeping a book in front of my face all the time so no one would talk to me (this was also one of the reasons behind reading so many books) - many people don't feel this feeling called anxiety. For food, shopping, porn, sex, loneliness, movies, dramas, even any escape, but just that. Take a break from anxiety for a while. Distracting anxiety is not the solution, fighting it is not the solution either, so what is the solution??? 

Anxiety in terms of psychology:

The famous psychiatrist Viktor Frankl says that a young doctor came to him with his problem. The doctor said that he had social anxiety, and that he began to sweat when he was sitting among people, which caused him to go to events. Refuses to. Dr. Victor treated the young doctor's anxiety with his famous therapy called “Logotherapy”. 

Victor says that we humans resort to two modes, the first is "flight" and the second is "fight", and both of these methods increase your anxiety, not decrease it. These are useful when you encounter a tiger in the wild, but their use in the human world creates more problems. For example, if you have to give a presentation or do public speaking, then you experience anxiety and worry, which is natural, but when does the anxiety become intense and so intense that you stop doing this activity? Ignore it or start running/fighting it? 

You have a fear of public speaking, but things get worse when fear of outcome is added due to anxiety. Just kidding, if people don't like what I say………. This "then" never goes away, and now you're trapped in double the fear and double the anxiety it creates, what author Mark Manson calls the "feedback loop from hell." ,

Let me explain by giving another example, if you have to face a person/situation/emotion and you are afraid of facing it for some reason, now you are experiencing anxiety, in some time when that person/situation/emotion Now you will have more anxiety about your anxiety, and now it is your anxiety. It's unbearable, and now it's time to find an 'escape', double the junk food, double the porn, spend more time on social media, more cigarettes, more alcohol, whatever, just listen to the mind... ….I often say, your enemies are not your relatives or Indians, your own “mind” is enough to humiliate you. And to humiliate. 

Victor advises the young man to resort to "paradoxical intention". What is this paradoxical intention? 

First of all, you rationalize to yourself that I should not be afraid of public speaking unless the public has a pistol in their hands and a policy of shooting if they make a mistake. But only reason does not solve problems, emotions are very tame and they do not listen to anyone. So in this way you neither fight nor run away from your anxiety, but shift your focus. In this, you take your focus off the outcome and use the greatest human strength, humor. For example, if someone is unable to sleep and is trying to force himself to sleep and he wants very much to sleep, but in the opposite intention you say to yourself that it is better if I don't sleep. , I will do some other activity, not necessarily sleepy. "Victor told the doctor to use a counterintuitive attitude and not to pretend that he was not anxious or nervous when going to an event, but to use humor to laugh at himself and say to those around him, 'So much rush today.' I feel like I'm going to sweat twice.'In doing so, the young doctor's anxiety normalized over time. "

I adopted this method in my personal life, whenever I feel anxiety I use humor to make fun of myself. The more you try to cover yourself up, hide/run away or look perfect, the more you will suffer, focusing on the results will only increase your anxiety. When I practiced stoicism, I realized that I and my problems were not as important to the universe as my mind presented them to me, whenever my mind tried to be overly serious. If he shows me that he is very important and special, I will make fun of his ideasI manage to blow it back to normal somewhat, it's all a game of practice and it's not easy at all of course. This is self-talk in which you laugh at yourself by observing yourself and sharing your own stupidity with others. No need to be so serious, you and your problems are not special at all. 

(From the point of view of philosophy, I will discuss anxiety in the third and last part)

Anxiety in the eyes of philosophy:

Siddhartha Gautama calls the restless human mind the "monkey brain," which jumps like a monkey from one fear to another and from another fear and fantasy to a third. It is very difficult to stop such a mind. Siddharth's philosophy tells us two things "wisdom" and "practice" are necessary to face anxiety, wisdom without practice is of no use, if you only read things but you don't practice. If you do, that reading does not benefit you, but increases the confusion of the mind. The 8th century Buddha-ist Shantideva says:

"If a problem can be solved, why worry? Solve it, and even if there is no solution to the problem, there is no reason to worry, because it cannot be solved.”

Stoicism teaches us that not all problems are under your control, for example, the dollar is expensive and the rupee is falling, a journalist warns you about a dangerous article or video, you sell anxiety to the journalist and views. Got it. Now you are worried about what will happen to the country?? The politicians are all thieves, the army is corrupt, the government officials are also corrupt and greedy, now you are worried about your future, now you are worried about the future of your children, now you are in an endless chain of anxiety and worry. Trapped, yelling at their wives and children,Confused by colleagues and friends………. The question arises that you have any role in making the policy of this country. no. It is not in your control, you are in control of your own budget and your own response. 

Our monkey mind enjoys thinking about all these problems, it needs something to worry about. Thinking is not wrong, but thinking about things that are beyond your control or that do not solve problems and thinking too much is futile. Not every anxiety, worry or thought in life is "resolved" but some problems are meant to be "dissolved". Irrational thoughts are not resolved (resolving is the property and nature of our mind) but are dissolved in our body. And for this Siddhartha Gautham's practice "Mindfulness Meditation" is very useful, in which you observe your feelings and thoughts in the "present moment". You can sit quietly in a place and watch the fear and anxiety that arises in you after seeing the situation of the country and see it dissolve in your body. The policy of the country is not your problem, it is the work of those who have power, use the power you have to solve your problems and dissolve those that cannot be solved, let them go. ) do. 

My personal experience:

I also have social anxiety. I chose places with a lot of pressure, for example, I did an experiment, people who live in Karachi here called C-Vue. There is a place where there is a famous fast food restaurant, outside it is very busy in the morning and I like that placeNot at all like that, I would deliberately go there, have a copy and a pen with me, I would start writing, my feelings, my fears, boredom with the rush there, almost every day, slowly I realized that my anxiety was now gone. I am decreasing. 

I looked up from the copy and started looking at the people around me, I deliberately talked to the girls sitting in front of me, I felt a little more normal. The next day I didn't write anything just sat normally. The manager of the restaurant looked at me and smiled, I also responded with the classical response of humans i.e. 'smile for smile', he spoke to me and said you come here to study? I also showed interest, he also needed someone to share his sorrows with and I also wanted to share my social anxietyThe fear, anxiety and fear of humans was to be removed. He described the problems in the job and I realized the basic human instinct of "compassion" and encouraged his hard work, humans want encouragement and acknowledgment. After that day, I didn't go there again, I don't need to anymore, my social anxiety has decreased, now people don't seem so bad, boring and scary, I have had many such experiences, knowing something. Some happened unknowingly. 

The reality is that our existence doesn't matter to those around us, these thoughts are in our head and Dr. Jo-Dispenza says that if a thought is in your head, it doesn't necessarily mean it's true. 

Even today, there is occasional anxiety (anxiety is natural but if it is not dealt with then there are problems) but its severity and suffering has reduced significantly because it is now dealt with.